Dating Turn-Offs, Relationship Deal-Breakers - Am I Too Picky Dating
Biggest Dating Deal-breakers For Men, Deal-breakers In A Relationship For Women, Funny Deal-Breakers Dating, Am I Too Picky Dating? Dating Preferences vs Deal-Breakers, Common Deal Breakers Dating
Dating Turn-Offs Men, Women
Everyone has a list they maintain whether they have it written down, have said it out loud or think it quietly in their heads. Some items are physical, some are based on lifestyle choices, others are connected to demographics and others can be even more obscure and random than that.
To make things even more complicated, people typically have stricter deal-breakers on apps than they do offline, in-person. Thanks to abundance of choice on dating apps, people have inflated sense of potential dating pools and begin to hack away by implementing harsher deal-breakers to to comb through the endless choices.
Below I will go over common deal-breakers (religion, height, ethnicity, lifestyle choices) and some not so obvious ones that seem rather funny, random and immature but are real nonetheless. I will also discuss deal-breakers vs preferences and help you understand where people are most likely to budge and drastically improve their odds when dating.
I will also cover deal-breakers and how they differ between early dating stages and relationships.
Is Religion A Deal-Breaker? Is Difference In Religions A Deal-Breaker In Relationships?
When it comes to religion, some people either don’t care, have a preference for similar religions and are super religious i.e. god comes first, must love god. To each their own. Ignoring religion can result wasted time for individuals on the dating market.
It helps to learn to understand what others want and don’t hope you can win them over if you fall outside their preference, and similarly don’t hope you can convert someone if they really like you.
While some people are looking to connect purely from a basis of cultural experiences, some tend to downplay deal-breakers in the hopes you will change.
Knowing which apps favor religious folks can make your online dating experience more pleasurable.
Related read: Online Dating 101
Is Height A Deal-Breaker For Women, Men? Do Men Prefer Short Women? Dating As A Short Man, As A Tall Woman
Height is a sensitive topic for some men on dating apps. You can tell by the comments when Tinder released a height verification tool, prank on April 1st a while back. Most apps like Hinge, Bumble, CMB, Match have height filters but not everyone is telling the truth.
It’s not uncommon for guys to add 1, 2 or 3 inches to their height. As such, it can result in lots of frustrations on first dates if/when women leave immediately upon greeting (this is something I urge women to do to avoid people wasting each others time). There is no real good way to screen for height other than to report guys who lie about their height on the apps (offline behavior reports).
I understand short guys tend to get fewer likes and matches on dating sites but the reality is, most men blame the apps and women and often fail to acknowledge their shortcomings (yes, I just did that) including location, ethnicity, style, grooming, facial expressions, job, education, distance, age gap, lifestyle choices (smoking, drinking, religion, politics) and more.
Plenty of women will date guys under 6 feet tall. Similarly, some women will date guys their height or even those 1-2 inches shorter than them if they carry themselves well, are confident and make up for it in other aspects of their lives (lifestyle choices, hobbies, interests & etc.)
Unfortunately, there is an arms race among some users on apps as some women will list their height in heels to filter out men who lie about their height (not super common but it does happen on occasion). Men & women - just be honest and learn to deal with rejection and accept that people have preferences and that is ok.
Chances are your height is not the only thing holding you back when searching for love.
Related read: Most Common Lies On Dating Apps
Dating Racial & Ethnicity Preferences (Men vs Women)
It’s no secret that some races and ethnicity do better on dating apps than others.
Old studies from Okcupid that were since deleted but live on via cached sites, reveal that people have a strong preference for some races and since most people treat dating apps like ordering apps, well, it can take more time and effort to see results on dating apps if you are a person of color.
With that said, I work a lot with men and women of color and I always emphasize using apps that are less superficial, always working on appearance, style, communication skills, grooming, body language and social skills to level the playing field.
Men are more willing to date outside their race than women are. Some will even take it to the extreme and seek out women from more conservative cultures as seen with ‘Passport Bros’
Rather than blame apps or the opposite gender, focus on what you can control, influence. Little things like hairstyles, grooming habits, good lighting on photos, personality, smiles, hobbies/interests and app choices can make all the difference.
Related reads:
Things That Make You Less Attractive To Men, Women
Client survey: With over a dozen years of working with singles in various capacities (photos, coaching, assessing various outlets to meet people, and image consulting), I always ask clients about traits/habits that make people (un)attractive. While many of these can cover both men and women, some are pretty common among smaller slivers of groups.
Age As A Deal-Breaker Dating: Men vs Women Dating Preferences For Dating
When it comes to change, men typically prefer to date women who are younger and their preferences for age may not change that much over time. The classic line comes to mind: “I keep getting older but they stat the same age” (Dazed & Confused). Similarly, some men may set aside preferences temporarily for something casual which makes figuring out intentions difficult for women who mistake sex for love.
Women on the other hand typically prefer to target men their age or older when younger. The common reason is because guys are generally dumbasses. As women get older, and men start to mature (a little), they may lower age range to even include men a few years younger.
Related read: Gender Ratios On Dating Apps In Various U.S. Cities.
Politics As A Deal-Breaker Dating, Relationships
Politics is a big discussion point. Men are more likely than women to overlook politics when dating, especially when it comes to hookups an short-term dating affairs. Don’t assume you are on the same wavelength just because you voted for the same party. Some people vote for selfish reasons while others vote for ideological reasons.
You can often look up political donations online if you know the person’s county, full name etc.
Dating Out Of Your League...
There is a lot of discussion around this phrase, if it is true and what it means and I am here to shed some light on the expression and bad advice people give in regards to dating outside of one’s league. Whether you believe in this or not, it’s worth reading to understand nuance, statistics and preferences/deal-breakers.
Common Deal Breakers Dating
These are pretty common, obvious so no need to dig into reasons, context.
Cheating
Abuse
Dishonesty
Poor Communication
Lack of Vulnerability
Addiction; Drug/Alcohol Abuse
Tacky tattoos
Smoking
Table Manners