Date Me Docs: What Are They, How To Use Them?
Date Me Docs FAQ's, Date Me Doc Template; Date Me Doc Directories, Date Me Doc Databases, Where To Find Date Me Docs, Date Me Docs Pros & Cons, What Are Date Me Docs
In 2024, people are sick and tired of dating apps (and rightfully so). Dating apps have gotten worse over time but anyone not seeing this is pretty naive. Most dating apps are VC-funded (aka subsidized) and once they get enough traction, they start to reduce free functions and ramp up monetization efforts.
All good things must come to an end and for anyone who has used apps regularly since pre-covid will testify that dating apps have gotten worse. Thanks to WFH, isolation, friends moving away, lay-offs, rising cost of living, inflation, etc, people are seeking new ways to meet other outside of dating apps.
Modern Dating by Eddie is written by Eddie Hernandez, dating coach based in San Francisco. He works with men & women seeking long-term relationships.
Unlike other dating coaches, he doesn’t deliver hot takes on Instagram or Tik-Tok, doesn’t go into red-pill theories nor does he overlook personal experiences when working with clients one-on-one.
He focuses on the building blocks of successful dating attributes like:
first impressions, social skills, hygiene, body language
photos, bios, prompts, messages, strategy, timing
filtering profiles, understanding preferences and deal-breakers
ID’ing red flags, cutting off time-wasters & reading people
Read more about him here: https://moderndatingbyeddie.substack.com/about
What Are Date Me Docs?
Date Me Docs are the latest rage in the dating world. I was interviewed for this story by Livia at the NYT but my quotes were ultimately not used (read more about it here).
Date Me Docs are literally dating profiles that are compiled individual by users and posted to a document whether a website, Google doc, Notion page etc.
These documents contain information similar to a dating profile on other apps including bio, preferences, intentions, photos etc. They are usually around one-pagers (similar to a resume).
The term Date Me Doc originated by the nature of the document - why you should me.
Where Can I Find Date Me Docs? Date Me Doc Lists, Date Me Doc Directories & Date Me Doc Databases
After a Date Me Doc is created, it is then disseminated to the internets. Some outlets include:
Instagram profiles
Twitter
Date Me Doc directories (hosted by individuals or organization such as myself)
Shared by friends via email
Posted on websites
How Do Date Me Docs Work? How To Use Date Me Docs
Essentially the way it works is that the person who creates the profile sets it and forgets it.
People who see it can either contact them directly (usually via whatsapp, email, text/phone (usually Google voice for privacy), Instagram DM’s or contact form.
It’s not mandatory for people to have their own dating docs to contact said folks but typically some information is needed like Instagram profile, Linkedin page, or other public information.
Date Me Doc Pros & Cons
Date Me Docs are available to anyone with access to the document which means anyone can access it including your boss, exes, neighbors, pervy co-workers and move.
It's a lazy/passive way to put yourself out there without having to swipe, send messages, answer prompts etc.
The same people you are trying to avoid are the same ones like able to see your Date Me Doc.
There is no way to filter profiles/inquiries. If you are a straight man, expect other guys to contact you. If you are a woman, expect guys 20-40 years older than you from all over the world to contact you.
Gender ratios are roughly the same i.e. mostly dudes. (expect 70-80% dudes)
The appeal of date me docs originates back to the days of AOL chatrooms, Yahoo Instant Messenger and sliding into DM’s of Myspace, Instagram and Facebook.
Date Me Docs allow people to write longer profiles. With that said, most people are terrible at writing about themselves regardless of the platform.
There are plenty of ways to write dating profiles to be efficient but most people just do as they see and copy low-effort dating profiles they see served up to them on Bumble, Hinge, Tinder, The League, Match, Okcupid etc.
Should I Use Date Me Docs? Are Date Me Docs Worth It?
It’s worth it in the sense that I am a big advocate for expanding your reach but it’s not worth it if:
You are lonely, don’t have friends
You are not happy on your own
You don’t have interests/hobbies
You don’t live a fulfilling life
You don’t know how to screen profiles, read people and weed out time-wasters
Can you meet quality people through date-me-docs? Sure, anything is possible as is meeting someone via:
Tinder
Craigslist
Bar
Volunteering
Classes
Cafes/Restaurants
Social Groups
Events
Team Sports
Yes, I know people who have met, still meet via these outlets. The common thread among most people is that they don’t put all their eggs in one basket and manage to go outside instead of focusing on work and solo/gender-dominated/homebody activities.
Date Me Doc Template
Dating Profile Photos
4-6 photos
Photos should be 2-3 years old max and look like you now (i.e. consistent looks, haircut, hairstyle, facial hair)
Photos should be a mix of close up to full body
Photos should not be edited, photoshopped nor filtered
Photos should show personality, style, approachability, and look at the camera
Dating Profile Bios/About Me
Should convey who you are, how you spend your time and what you seek
Should contain signifcant lifestyle obligations i.e. kids, pets, school
Should be specific, avoid cliches
Should be positive (avoid stating what you don’t want)
Optional: Instagram/Linkedin links
Be sure to add any deal-breakers i.e. prefer someone who doesn’t smoke, wants kids, is taller than me etc.
List a method of contact but don’t use your personal email nor phone number; create one specifically for this purpose.
Final Thoughts On Date Me Docs, Date Me Docs Review
A lot of people get frustrated and jump to the newest, trendiest outlet to meet people but in reality, they fail to work on themselves, fail to uncover biases, and fail to market themselves effectively.
No one should rely on dating apps for all or most of their dating efforts. Similarly, being a passenger in your dating life and waiting for people to contact you is not a effective way to date.
Most people never get feedback on any/all the items that impact their dating lives such as:
Lifestyle choices
Location
Preferences
Education/Job
Interests/Hobbies
Self-Awareness
Attitude/Personality
Grooming/Hygiene/Hairstyle
Wardrobe
Photos (First Impressions, Poses, Facial Expression)
Most people just wing (dating) it. Most people hate talking about themselves in general.
Most friends are unable to be brutally honest with you.
Just because you don’t have many preferences doesn’t mean others don’t. Similarly, just because you have strong/preferences and deal-breakers doesn’t mean other care, read your profile or will bow-out.
People spend money on trainers, gyms, speech coaches, nutritionists, wardrobe stylists, career coaches, resume writers, school, courses, financial advisors, tax advisors and more. How much do you spend on the one thing that is arguably the most important decision you will make in your life - the person you spend your life with?
If you are in a rut, let’s talk. I am not a miracle worker. I am not here to blow sunshine up your ass. I will help you uncover biases, help you be more efficient, guide you with better lifestyle choices and help you screen people more effectively all while marketing yourself better.
Quick Favor…
Please help me understand what else I should write about: questions, clarity on scenarios, frustrations and more.
About Eddie Hernandez
Analytics geek turned dating coach (as seen in the NYT, Bumble). My clients span straight men & women and gay men seeking relationships, those primarily from large cities i.e. San Jose, Los Angeles, NYC, Chicago, Seattle, London, Sydney, Tokyo, Berlin and those who struggle with first impressions, dating apps, meeting people offline, screening dates and planning fun dates.
Press: https://eddie-hernandez.com/press-articles/
Testimonials: https://eddie-hernandez.com/testimonials-reviews/
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