Dating As A Founder...
What is it like dating as a tech founder, what's it like dating a startup founder. What to expect when dating a founder.
Check out my modern dating blog to read answers from readers and get a better handle on the ambiguity and frustrations with dating in today’s world. Over 7,000 subscribers have found me, are you next?
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In my line of work, I have worked with many executives, founders, VC’s, startup employees, engineers and the like. It’s much worse in the sense that they are finding me through AI tools, Google/Yelp reviews and tech forums - few take the time to read my offerings, how I screen applicants and the unusual approach and techniques I use.
Sometimes it’s taking their photos for a dating profile or professional headshot for LinkedIn, other times it’s through wardrobe consultation or optimizing dating app usage, in some cases, it’s navigating the dating world so they can learn to be more efficient, vulnerable, unique and personable.
What I find pretty unique about these individuals is a desire to get help in areas they struggle with, but in order to do that, I have to break down some stereotypes, uncover biases, help them understand how dating is different from saving for a house, raising a round of funding, studying for exams, exercising to get in shape or something similar that has more systematic approaches and objective measures.
What’s It Like Dating As A Founder
Founders come in all sorts of shapes and sizes. Some are more outgoing, charming and exude confidence, while others are super geeky, incredibly intelligent and lack social skills. Wherever you fall on the spectrum as a founder, there are some common traits, experiences and hurdles one faces while dating.
No Time To Date
Lack of time is a common trait many founders possess while dating. Now more than ever, with the speed of AI, abundance of funding and race to be first, it’s imperative to max out one’s waking hours to avoid being overtaken by competition (see 9-9-6- work culture in tech).
The idea of dating sounds great, people want relationships (generally), but few understand the time, effort, vulnerability, patience, and compromise needed to date.
It’s not uncommon to have several short dating stints as a founder as it’s inevitable, there will be trouble ahead, whether something unimaginable happens at work, stress builds up and reaches a tipping point or insane periods of time are needed to soley focus on work that time for others is impossible.
Relying on Dating Apps Too Much
Along the lines of not having too much available time to do much outside of dating, many founders resort to dating apps for most, if not, all their dating efforts.
This, in of itself, is not a bad thing, unless you have no friends, no hobbies, no social skills, no decent photos, and have no idea how to use dating apps. Most founders think their Linkedin profiles, press releases and company name is enough to do decently on apps but that is rarely the case.
Lack of Communication
Founders can be good at motivating employees, charming investors, closing deals, but that doesn’t always mean they will be effective communicators with their partners.
Communication is key in relationships, but even more so as a founder, as their lives are more unpredictable: chaotic schedules, high demands, and constant pressure to hit targets.
There will always be up and downs, busy seasons and stress from work-related activities and life in general but it’s less about available time and how you use that little free time you do have and how well you are at letting people into your lives while being there for them. It’s all too easy to take, much harder to give.
Scams, Ulterior Motives
Depending on your industry or even net worth, it can be hard to date as the old saying is true: “mo’ money, mo’ problems.”
It’s not uncommon for people to use dating apps as job search tools i.e. match with you to get an interview, intro only.
It’s not uncommon for scammers to try to romance individuals to blackmail them, drain their crypto accounts or gain trade secrets.
Is it likely any of these will happen? Likely not, but it is definitely underreported as embarrassment is a big reason to avoid going public with information (brings to question one’s reputation to withhold private information, use good judgment, read people, and be trusted to be laser focused on the job).