Should You Google Dating App Matches? Is It OK To Look Up Dates On LinkedIn?
Should you look up dates on LinkedIn? Is it OK to do an online search of people on dating apps? Reverse image searching dating app photos, looking up phone numbers online. Social media stalking
Should You Google Your Date? Googling Date Before Meeting
You’ve all done it. Sometimes vagueness on a dating profile prompted additional information. Perhaps some doubt about location (thanks to Bumble travel mode) forced you to verify location. In some cases, an age discrepancy prompted you to see what if a person’s age is actually correct.
Before dating apps, people would meet organically, talk up strangers in public places, exchange numbers and go on dates to see if there was a romantic interest and also to learn more about the other person.
These days, people lack patience, waste their time on vague & ambiguous profiles and/or ignore red flags because of lack of matches and dates or because of loneliness. Information is at everyone’s fingertips and with that, a desire to get answers asap.
Dating Background Checks, Looking Up Dating App Matches Before A Date
There is so much information online about people that the temptation to do a quick search is at an all-time high.
People are looking up people online if they are single (after seeing/meeting offline)
People are browsing public records to validate age, location
People are scouring social media profiles to come up with talking points in person or on dates
People are doing searches on LinkedIn to confirm employment, see if people embellish their titles or to forecast earnings for family planning purposes.
People are reverse searching images to confirm age of photos and find other online profiles.
People are searching phone numbers to confirm identities
It’s a sad reality but it doesn’t have to be that way. Just because information is online doesn’t mean you have to do extensive background checks.
Is It OK To Look Up People Online? Etiquette On Googling Matches/Dates?
My rule of thumb is that if a person is being so mysterious or has such an incomplete dating profile, move on. They are signaling low-effort to you from the get go.
Sure, in cases with many women, there is a sense of privacy and safety involved as well as visibility (age, height, politics, religion, location) but if there are that many unknowns or conflicting information, why waste your time on people like this?
Focus your attention on those that fill out their profile, reply to you in a timely manner, live near you and make time to see you. Don’t waste your time on dodgy people.
Don’t have many options or can’t afford to be picky? Get off apps, take a break from dating, work on yourself.
Expand hobbies, become a regular, go to events on your own.
Sit at communal tables at bars and bar seats at restaurants.
Volunteer, take classes, focus on self-improvement.
Dating Background Check Etiquette, Looking Up People Online Before A Date, Stalking Dates On Social Media
It’s one thing to do a quick search to if someone’s location matches up on their LinkedIn/Facebook profile or see if they are the age they claim to be. It’s another thing to go down the rabbit hole of endless searches, stalking social media posts and paying for background checks.
Dating should be about exploration, learning about people, becoming pleasantly surprised throughout the courting process. Spending too much time online ruins that discovery phase of dating.
The more you rely on apps, internet and technology, the more stunted your ability to screen profiles, read people and use good judgment becomes.
It’s much easier to catch lies in person rather than asking over text/or chat on a dating app.
Unmatched Before A Date, Ghosted On First Date
On that note, if you get ghosted on first dates or get unmatched often after matching or even setting up dates, you might want to review your information online. People often change their mind if there is any doubt about your location, age, marital status, employment, politics or social media followings.
An outdated Linkedin or Facebook profile may raise doubts. People with many options don’t like to play detective and figure out what is the truth.
No explanation is need for unmatching is needed if you are creeped out, fear for your safety or are lied to.
About Eddie Hernandez
Analytics geek turned dating coach (as seen in the NYT, Bumble). My clients span straight men & women and gay men seeking relationships, those primarily from large cities i.e. San Jose, Los Angeles, NYC, Chicago, Seattle, London, Sydney, Tokyo, Berlin and those who struggle with first impressions, dating apps, meeting people offline, screening dates and planning fun dates.
Press: https://eddie-hernandez.com/press-articles/
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Read this article I was quote on regarding dating app safety.
Online Dating Background Checks, Dating Profile Check, Online Dating Safety, Dating App Safety Tips